A day of rest.....

Well, that is what is planned today, but I am sure that the folks will have other ideas. With it being a stressful week, I knew I needed a mental health break, so I took the day off. The work will be there waiting patiently on Monday and I know I will be much more mentally prepared to dig back in.

My brother and I have talked a lot this week, thru email and clandestine phone calls. Discussions ranging from the frustrations of caregiving, aging, and anything else that was itching at us. And for me, the frustrations of spending a week at a time here, working remotely, while my dogs are staying with my daughter and I am missing them and my kids and grandkids terribly. And my cute little condo with splashes of paint colors on my walls, is just itching to get a sprucing up.

Everything here is working out the way Mom and Dad wanted it to, and they could have been happy to go on like this forever. Their wonderful neighbor, who is a retired doctor, has been helping out SO much and never asking for anything in return. She was here 3 times a day 7 days a week when my brother or I was not here. Plus she was doing grocery and pharmacy runs and pretty much being at my parents beck and call.

That wonderful blessing and angel is going to take a large step back. She too has aging parents, a husband, a little pup, and a house of her own to run. She has agreed to keep up her caregiving 2-3 days a week, which leaves 4-5 where additional help is needed.

After all was hashed out with thoughts from my brother and I, we have decided the serious talk will take place tomorrow morning. I have researched home helper care through a local visiting angels and it is not an inexpensive alternative. Plus they will only do light housework, light cooking, grocery shopping, medicine reminders, but none of the medical stuff that my parents need.

Thoughts of hospice came and went as it is not Dad that really needs the most care right now, it is mom. So that is not an option for a stroke victim that cannot talk and has limited site, but still thinks she can do just about everything.

Living in the country has its perks but also some downsides. Meals on Wheels will not come out this far. I am still trying other options, but none are panning out.

So, the option of the home help will be discussed and we will also broach the subject of it being time for them to move in with me, or assisted living. Both will be strongly objected to, but soon they will not have an option. At this point, they still have some say in it, while soon, they may not and we will have to make the decision for them.

So, maybe you can understand me needing this little bit of mental health time. It is a beautiful day here in West Virginia, and I may just brave the ticks and the snakes and the other country critters and take a long walk thru the fields.

Be Blessed.

Until next time.

Kim

A quick thought from the farm....

Just a quick update. Today was the 6th day of chemo for my dad. He is still tolerating it very well, with little nausea or other side effects. Only 6 more treatments over the next 8 weeks.

I worry as he has developed a cough the last couple of days and it appears to be getting worse. Is the cancer taking hold? Is it getting stronger than the methods being used to stall it?

Dad is also getting more tired and more weak. Is it the chemo??? not sure as it is only once a week and before he seemed to be bouncing back from it after a day or two.

So for those of you who pray, please say a quick whisper prayer for my dad.

Thanks to all of you for being there for me in body, in spirit, and in blogland.

Until next time.

Kim

I can do all things....

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

How true that is. In asking for strength, God sends it in so many different ways. Most of the time I don't even see it coming......

• a smile from a stranger
• a hug from a friend
• a friend sharing their bounty from the local farmers market (MMMMM Ohio peaches)
• a new gate just showing up on my fence (a surprise from friends)
• listening to the little voices of my 2 grandchildren in the background as I write this

The list could go on and on. I need to take time to stop and thank God when these things happen. I know He has sent those little things to let me know He is there and is sending strength to me in the smallest ways.

I sometimes wonder if I am as strong as God thinks I am, and then one of these little blessings find its way to me in those times when I need them most.


I have linked this to Tuesday's Unwrapped so please pop on over there to read more inspirational thoughts..... Chatting at the Sky - Tuesdays Unwrapped

Until next time.....

Kim

Would like some input from my friends.....

First just a little dad update. He had round 5 of chemo yesterday and did very well. Still sounds good today even tho day 2 is usually a CRASH day with a few days to gain back strength and stamina before the next round. I am travelling there again on Sunday so will know more when I get there.....

OK everyone I am really trying hard to do some ME stuff... Remember this little gem....

So the farthest I have gotten on the little cutie is to glue the veneer back down before it could even be considered for a re-do. Well, ended up that due to my novice skills at gluing furniture, it was a 2 step process.

Any WHY, you may ask has it taken me so long to even get it glued???? HMMMM let me see.... laziness, pity party for all that is going on personally (wah! wah!) but I am ready to really get into shining the litle cloverleaf table shined up...

First I need to use some type of gooey gunky stuff on it instead of sanding as it PROBABLY has lead based paint on it and no reason to get sick over refinishing a table (already bought). Next I will prime it (also already purchased). Then will be the fun part of transforming it with some paint.

Some background, my new (old) table will be used in my master bedroom that I plan to continue to decorate in shades of light blue, pink and green or aqua. This is how it looks SO FAR....Wow, I guess I never realized how little my cute little lamp with the pink shaed looked beside my bed.. GEESH.....looks like some more shopping is in order. DARN.

So now a dilemma....what color do I paint the table? Keep in mind there are other pink accents in the room as in another lamp with pink shade (bigger than one in pic), as well as some picture frames and drapery panels at the window.

OK OK before you give me PINK grief... I am a single empty nest gal who loves pink... SO THERE!!! And I do have a few splashes of blue thrown in on picture frames etc.

Here is where you come in... The paint samples I am starting with are shown to the right... the lightest shade is the "Elusive Blue" Olympic paint from Lowe's that will be the wall color...kind of a 'barely blue' that I wanted to be the backdrop. All the others have fun names like Burgundy 1 (the lightest pink), Burgundy 3 (the darker pink), Spaqua (light aqua), Smooth Sailing (a little deeper aqua) and finally York Beach (the lone blue). All of these smaller samples are Valspar and also at Lowe's.

So what do you think for the color choices???? Click on comments and let me know your thoughts on the best choice and I will SERIOUSLY take your choices into very deep consideration.....

I really appreciate your help as believe me, with the limited working brain cells I have right now, I can use all the help I can get....can't wait to see your thoughts and comments.

Until next time.....

Kim

Time to step back.......

and remember my blessings that are so many that it is hard to count them at times. I  have been so obsessed with being anxious and overwhelmed with being a part time caretaker for my parents that I forget there is a ME that needs fed too. I fret, I stew, I grumble and vent.... but what does it get me.... just more fretting, stewing, grumbling and venting (sorry to those that have had to listen).......

I feel sooooo blessed by the great hand of God who has touched my life so sweetly and tenderly. He has given me 2 parents that are still in my life, 2 wonderful children, 2 adorably sweet grandchildren, 2 little furry friends who are so cuddly when I need it, and friends so loving and caring and too numerous to even mention.....that I cannot really ask for anything more in my life.

What I DO have to do is step back at times to remember these blessings as well as thank those that ARE and have been blessings to me in these last few weeks.

So to EVERYONE in my life.... THANK YOU... may many more blessings come your way because of the cheer and love and comfort you have added to my life.

Today I am linking to tuesdays unwrapped so please prop your feet up, grab a glass of lemonade, click on the link and enjoy!!!
Until next time.....

Kim

Ducks in a row?????

Those of you that know me may have heard me say one of my favorite Kim-isms.... " My ducks ARE in a row, it just doesn't happen to be a straight one".... and I always figure my ducks are following along the best they can.

Just this morning I found a link to a post by another blogger  talking about ducks and rows and I wanted to share just a small piece of her post that hit SOOOOO close to home for me.

"I started to cry and said maybe I don’t have my ducks in a row enough. Or maybe I’m not praying enough or quiet enough or brave enough or whatever enough. He reminded me that God doesn’t look for lined up ducks, but for the smallest bit of faith, the kind that rolls around with mustard seeds. The kind you can hardly see. Because he takes that kind of faith and does miracles with it so that nobody could look at it and say Oh, well of course she could do that because she has it so together. Have you seen her ducks?! Instead, he does things through and with people so that they will say I never could have done that on my own. I don’t even have any ducks."

This snippet from her post just reminds me so much of what I am thinking and feeling at this point in my life. If you want to read the rest of her her post visit her at  http://www.chattingatthesky.com/2010/07/08/how-the-end-is-like-the-beginning/comment-page-1/#comment-40927.

I think this will now become another blog added to my new addiction of blog reading... Hey my addictions have always been pretty tame over the years, and this one doesn't involve shelling out a lot of money for scrapbook supplies, Precious Moments, Longaberger baskets, stamping supplies... just to mention a few of my past addictions....

Hope you visit Chatting at the Sky and feel as inspired as I did.

Until next time.

Kim

AHHHH The Farmer's Market

But first, a dad update. He went for his regular chemo yesterday and his hemoglobin (I think) was too off the mark to give the treatment so they just gave him some shots to help bring it up. He is as cranky as ever, even without spending 3 hours in the chemo chair....so back the next 2 weeks to keep trying... He did gain weight last week.....probably due to the apple fritters and Green's donuts he kept eating.. hey calories are calories and at this point that is what the doc wants.... calories in and in and in.....

AHHHH so on to the Farmer's Market... the colors like a bright sunny rainbow....the smells a little nostalgia for the nose.... :o)

Believe me, I would love to have a garden of my very own and see the colors and smell those scents, but condo living just ain't cut out for it.... but maybe I see a container garden in my future.... Please comment on here if you have done a container garden in the past and can offer some tips...

OK, back to the market.... there is a nice small one that visits right outside my big high rise office building every Thursday.... a push to help all the employees work on living healthier... Today was the first time I was able to stop by this summer... and boy did I stock up.... HMMMM lets see: a candy onion (OMG better than vidalia's), zuchini, yellow squash, green peppers, green beans, red taters, hot peppers..... I think that is all..

So what is a single gal going to do with all those veggies???? 1st thing is roast some of them up with a little EVOO, and a dash or two of grilling spices. YUMMY. I could just make a whole meal out of those roasted veggies..... Then what I can't fit in my roasting pan will get chopped and frozen for winter. Great in soups, and pastas and, and, and.

Last year's stash took me almost through winter so hopefully my haul will do that this year...... A girl can only hope.

Until next time....

Kim

Agape Love......

Friends come in all types: Best friends, close friends, church friends, work friends, and passing friends, the ones that only are there for a season or two....... We all have friends we can count on in times of trouble or sadness,  but sometimes a close, great, best friend still goes WAY out of their way to show totally unconditional love.

I was the recipient of a random act of  unconditional agape love and kindness this past weekend.

I came home from a long week with mom and dad, and as I drove into my garage, I thought "WOW, someone hung a wreath on my back gate"... which then turned into " HEY WAIT, I don't have a back gate"..... HMMMMMM

So I called my Daughter who was keeping an eye on my place and she said there was no gate there a couple of days before... HMMMM ok, so I went back to check it out and on the gate was a pretty wreath in all my fave colors..... and on the BACK of the new gate was a BEAUTIFUL metal kind of double star decoration....similar to ones I have checked out ALL summer but never bought....... THEN I looked down and there was a new blooming plant lovingly planted in my very bare flower bed (keep in mind I am away at least half the time so I didn't plant anything)...... and a cute little outdoor pig... THAT pig gave it away.......

So I called the one friend that I KNEW had taken the time and effort to create a wonderful welcome home for her friend who was returning home from a tough week. This friend and her talented husband built this new gate, added all of the special touches that showed love at every glance around the patio, and made me feel their love and kindness to my very core.

These two people were being the hands and feet of Christ and I felt God's love so fully that I knew He was right there smiling down on me and the 2 special friends.

I know that the blessings I received are meant to be shared and someday I will pass that type of blessing on to others. But for now, I will look out at my beautiful new gate, that was lovingly placed there to add privacy and safety, but has added so much more.

Love to my special friends-you know who you are.

Until next time.

K

Tears for another type....

of impending loss.... Some of you know that my mother raised Arabian horses for years before her stroke. At the time her stroke symptoms and issues started, she owned twelve Arabians, including 2 beautiful stallions.

Now, 10 years later, she is down to 2 foundered old Arabs, 1 a beautiful grey mare, and the other a gorgeous buckskin gelding. The others have moved on to other homes over the years as it became more and more difficult to take care of that many horses with mom's limited mobility.

The time has come to start thinking about a new home for the 2 remaining Arabs tho. Today, when feeding them, mom realized they had broken one of the stall doors and made my dad come and take a look. In his frail state, there was nothing he could do...... so all he did was get flustered, mad, and grumpy. Luckily the blacksmith came to trim the horses hooves and fixed the sliding stall door while here...

Things like this keep happening. 20 years ago they were just small things that happened on a farm where horses were born and bred. Now, however, these small things create bigger problems that only add to the reality of what is to come.

If someone were here full time to help take care of the horses, mom would be able to keep them until the time comes to move away from the farm. But for now, wish me luck in finding the right time before winter to begin discussions with mom about what to do with her beautiful 4-legged friends.

You may notice I don't mention much about dad and the horses.... that is because he TOLERATES them and that is about it. They are mom's love and it was always her dream to own a farm and a slew of horses.

She lived her dream and the fact that her dream will soon be coming to an end brought tears to my eyes this morning. I feel blessed that I will be here to help her through the loss and transition when the time comes.

Soon, I will add a VERY short story she started years ago and never finished to a blog post. I found the story she was writing about her very first Arab that started it all. I found it on just a few small scraps of paper. It does not have an ending, so I told her we will chat so that I can help to finish the story. I want the kids, grandkids and GREAT grandkids to know how much she LOVED those horses.... some of God's most beautiful creatures that most people would never have even thought about putting the time, money and effort into raising.

Until next time....

Kim

Just a quick....

stop by today.....

Dad had chemo today and is otherwise having a great day... He actually saw a McDonald's commercial and decided he wanted a burger, fries and shake for dinner. woo hoo....

Of course on the way to McD's we drove around my old stomping grounds a little to find that while a LOT of things do change, SOME things do stay the same....

Like Green's Donuts. YUM OH and YIPPEE they are still on the same street they were on when I grew up and my mom, brother and I would go there for a donut run. OK, so they moved down the streets and the donuts are not made on site anymore, but hey, they were still there....

And I think I was even getting hit on by a guy at the donut shops... HMMMM not that I really remember what that feels like, but maybe, just mayb,e home is the place to find the love of my life....

OK, all you naysayers......yes I thought I met him years ago (hubby number one).... and OK thought I met him years later (hubby number two).... but you never know, Mr. right could be right around the corner, sitting on a stool at Green's Donut shop.....which by the way, now serves up KENO with the donuts....

Now THAT is a change.

Until next time.....

K

Lazy Days of Summer.....

OK SERIOUSLY, that phrase had to have been created by someone who lived in the country... Not on a working farm, mind you, just out in the country on a buncha acres and miles from the craziness of city life.

There is no way that a city dweller could have coined the phrase "Lazy Days of Summer". I know, I am a city dweller and it is not a frequent occasion when a summer day (or any day in ANY season) is truly lazy. Here in the country the birds are singing, the hummingbirds are frequenting the feeders, the bullfrogs are croaking, but other than that, not much other action going on...

I could get used to this. THERE I SAID IT!!!!! I love my busy life in Ohio but there is something to be said for the country life.... remember Green Acres (a TV show from way long ago for those of you too young to remember)???

Wel.l one day I feel like Oliver and I sing......

Green acres is the place to be.

Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

And the next day I feel like Lisa and sing....

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue

But on most days, I feel JUST like Arnold Ziffel the pig, and go sniffing about my day looking for my next meal.

So for now, at least this week, I am going to make the most of the quiet evenings and the laid back country life.

Until next time....

Kim

A great page from a recent read.....

This is excerpted from the book have a little faith by Mitch Albom. It fits so well with all the thoughts and feelings I have been having with the recent cancer diagnosis for my dad.

Sleep in a Storm

From a Sermon b y the Reb, 1975

" A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'"

"The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man."

"Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley."

"Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly."

"So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, the the animals are secure with plenty of feed."

"He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins."

"He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry"

"And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'"

"My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of  'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm."

"And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete."