Dieting???? That is the question.... OH don't worry, I haven't given up on my resolution yet. But you REALLY need to head on over to Simple Mom to read about her thoughts on dieting.
WOW, they were words I needed and they came WHEN I needed them. Here are some excerpts of what she had to say:
"We use food as a weapon. We use food as a numbing agent. We use food as a coveted illicit pleasure in a game where we test how long we can resist it to prove our strength. We use food as everything but how it is meant to be used… an enjoyable, health-giving tool."
"Become aware—deeply aware—and curious about how foods make you literally and emotionally feel. Not whether the food is bad or good. Not whether it is right or wrong to eat it. When we release the restriction and the judgement that food is good or bad, we can also release the deeper judgement that we are good or bad for choosing those foods."
Do you beat yourself up when it comes to food? I know that I do. I have bruises that never go away I think. I would love to have the frame of mind that Simple Mom does. I REALLY would. So how do I get to that point?
I know one way that can start that new thinking. Stop thinking that I screwed up one meal or one snack or one entire day (or week) and bonk myself over and over for it while continuing down the 'pig out' path. I beat myself up so bad that I figure I already blew it so might as well keep on going.
SERIOUSLY..... how detrimental is that to my thinking or my resolve to be healthy? VERY!!!!
I am asking you all if you have any ideas for softer blows instead of the full on slugs. You know, the self-depricating, full punch in the belly comments like "You will never lose weight", "You have NO will power", " You have blown it already today, so you might as well just keep eating".
I need your help. Do you have things that you say to yourself that are positive? Words of kindness to confirm that you made a 'small' mistake which is not an indication of WHO your are? A way to remind yourself that you made a mistake but It does not have to affect the rest of the day? Keep in mind, it doesn't even have to pertain to food, cuz believe me, my derogatory comments don't stop at my food choices. OH NO, when I am beating myself up, I do a bang-up, down and dirty job on myself.
If you have ANY ideas for me, I would love to hear them. I know that I have a lot of soul work to do, and maybe this could be the start of something BIG. Are you with me?
Until next time....
Keep on creating!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Regrets on a Sunday Morning
Good morning to all of you that follow me and to those that are just stopping by. I have been having a lot of sadness about all that has happened in my life these last two years. If you ask anyone who knows me, they will tell you I am an upbeat, happy gal. And I am - most of the time. During those other times, I am very good at playing the part.
It has been almost 2 years since my father's cancer diagnosis. 5 months later he was gone. I was blessed to have him spend one week in my home before his last hospitalization, to hear the stories of his life-the ones I was always too busy to listen to before. I was a busy kid, then a way too busy for parents teen, then I went away to college, then came being a self absorbed newlywed and finally a busy mom. I was preoccupied with my own life and didn't really care about what my dad had been through to make him the person he was. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad, but he wasn't really the hands on, get down and play with his kids kinda guy. I never felt that close to him.
"The Greatest Man I Never Knew", sung by Reba McEntire, always reminded my of my relationship with my dad. I just listened to it again, and I still feel it tells so much about how I always felt about my dad. Why it made me envy what some of my friends had in a relationship or closeness with their own fathers. I will put the lyrics at the end of this post if you would like to read them. It may give you more insight into what I felt growing up.
During that last week when he was with me, before the cancer took away his clear thoughts, and before his last hospitalization, I learned alot about my dad. About his days in the army, his years playing American Legion baseball, and many others stories I had never heard before. And then he was gone. I do regret not knowing more while dad was alive but I can say that it taught me a lot about the relationship I want to have with my own children.
We are a close family and I will do all I can to continue that loving relationship. I don't want my children to ever have the regrets I do. We share information about our lives. We talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. What makes us happy, and ticks us off, and has us a little down. Sometimes I am sure they are thrilled to hear from me. Sometimes.....not so much. But I want them to know me for who I really am instead of waiting until it is too late for my adult childred to get to know me. I want them to know I love them.
Next up...... some regrets about my mom.
Until next time....
Be blessed.
The Greatest Man I Never Knew
The greatest man I never knew
Lived just down the hall
AND EVERY DAY WE SAID HELLO
But never touched at all
He was in his paper
I was in my room
How was I to know he thought I hung the moon
The greatest man I never knew
Came home late every night
He never had too much to say
Too much was on his mind
I never really knew him
And now it seems so sad
Everything he gave to us took all he had
Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life
The greatest words I never heard
I guess I'll never hear
The man I thought could never die
S'been dead almost a year
He was good at business
But there was business left to do
He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew
It has been almost 2 years since my father's cancer diagnosis. 5 months later he was gone. I was blessed to have him spend one week in my home before his last hospitalization, to hear the stories of his life-the ones I was always too busy to listen to before. I was a busy kid, then a way too busy for parents teen, then I went away to college, then came being a self absorbed newlywed and finally a busy mom. I was preoccupied with my own life and didn't really care about what my dad had been through to make him the person he was. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad, but he wasn't really the hands on, get down and play with his kids kinda guy. I never felt that close to him.
"The Greatest Man I Never Knew", sung by Reba McEntire, always reminded my of my relationship with my dad. I just listened to it again, and I still feel it tells so much about how I always felt about my dad. Why it made me envy what some of my friends had in a relationship or closeness with their own fathers. I will put the lyrics at the end of this post if you would like to read them. It may give you more insight into what I felt growing up.
During that last week when he was with me, before the cancer took away his clear thoughts, and before his last hospitalization, I learned alot about my dad. About his days in the army, his years playing American Legion baseball, and many others stories I had never heard before. And then he was gone. I do regret not knowing more while dad was alive but I can say that it taught me a lot about the relationship I want to have with my own children.
We are a close family and I will do all I can to continue that loving relationship. I don't want my children to ever have the regrets I do. We share information about our lives. We talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. What makes us happy, and ticks us off, and has us a little down. Sometimes I am sure they are thrilled to hear from me. Sometimes.....not so much. But I want them to know me for who I really am instead of waiting until it is too late for my adult childred to get to know me. I want them to know I love them.
Next up...... some regrets about my mom.
Until next time....
Be blessed.
The Greatest Man I Never Knew
The greatest man I never knew
Lived just down the hall
AND EVERY DAY WE SAID HELLO
But never touched at all
He was in his paper
I was in my room
How was I to know he thought I hung the moon
The greatest man I never knew
Came home late every night
He never had too much to say
Too much was on his mind
I never really knew him
And now it seems so sad
Everything he gave to us took all he had
Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life
The greatest words I never heard
I guess I'll never hear
The man I thought could never die
S'been dead almost a year
He was good at business
But there was business left to do
He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Photo fail...
HMMMMM I bet you are wondering why there were no pictures with my post on the bridal shower earlier this week. Or maybe not. Well, I forgot to take my camera. Yes, the very first opportunity to really get some practice in with my new camera and I BLEW IT. But I will NOT forget it for the wedding. NO WAY.
I was surprised at myself and would have kicked myself in the rear if I could have. I used to be the person that my kids YELLED at because I always had my camera in hand and they HATED me and my constant picture taking. But lately I have forgotten my camera for birthday's and other occasions. Guess I need to set a lovely little reminder on my phone when I have an event that I want to take me camera to.
So are you the person that is always taking the photos at the events or are you happier to just sit back, relax and find yourself in the photo later on? If you are the photographer type, do you have a box full of photos (or maybe several) tucked in a closet somewhere that REALLY need to be organized? I am definitely a photo hoarder and have boxes and boxes of photos from way back when my kids were little up through recent vacations and grand kid shots. So what to do, oh what to do?
I have decided that if I have plans to take MORE photos, then I better do something about the hoarding problem or I would have to find a bigger condo. Stay tuned in the coming weeks as I will share my plans on organizing my photos, or at least getting a good start on them.
Until next time...keep on creating.
I was surprised at myself and would have kicked myself in the rear if I could have. I used to be the person that my kids YELLED at because I always had my camera in hand and they HATED me and my constant picture taking. But lately I have forgotten my camera for birthday's and other occasions. Guess I need to set a lovely little reminder on my phone when I have an event that I want to take me camera to.
So are you the person that is always taking the photos at the events or are you happier to just sit back, relax and find yourself in the photo later on? If you are the photographer type, do you have a box full of photos (or maybe several) tucked in a closet somewhere that REALLY need to be organized? I am definitely a photo hoarder and have boxes and boxes of photos from way back when my kids were little up through recent vacations and grand kid shots. So what to do, oh what to do?
I have decided that if I have plans to take MORE photos, then I better do something about the hoarding problem or I would have to find a bigger condo. Stay tuned in the coming weeks as I will share my plans on organizing my photos, or at least getting a good start on them.
Until next time...keep on creating.
Monday, March 19, 2012
It's coming upon....
...the season for weddings. Spring and Summer bring out brides in force. These young (and not so young) ladies take advantage of the promise of beautiful weather for their once n a lifetime big day. They plan and plan in hopes that the day will be just what they (and their mother) have dreamed of since the day they were born. OK OK so the bride has only been dreaming of it since they were like five when they were probably a flower girl for the first (and maybe only) time. Their first walk down the aisle with flowers sets thoughts in motion for colors and flowers and all the cake they will get to eat at their own wedding.
What brings all of this to mind? I attended the bridal shower for my son's sister-in-law. YES that poor mom has planned two weddings within a year. Better her than me. :o) So instead of my daughter-in-law having to be the center of attention, she gladly played back up by planning a beautiful shower. This is a very DIY family and there were some amazing decorations following the theme of burlap and lace with a color scheme of aqua and peach.
There were simple burlap table runners and burlap wreaths with burlap flowers. There were doilies of all shapes and sizes. Beautiful simple vases made from aqua colored canning jars will filled with babies breath and adorned with a simple lace ribbon tied around it. A LOVE banner handmade with Burlap was the back drop for the bride while opening gifts. She sat on a vintage side chair painted aqua with a burlap seat. ALL of this DIY ideas that came from Pinterest.
Do you PIN? If not, it is a great way to dream away time looking for party ideas, fashion ideas, decorating ideas, inspirational sayings etc. You can share ideas with friends and maybe even meet a few new friends along the way.
Why do I pin? I started pinning just to stock up creative party ideas I find while surfing the web. But it has become much more. I plan to use Pinterest for Inspiration Boards for Creative Concept Events as an easy way for party hostesses to see ideas for events all in one spot. You can see the beginnings of my very first inspiration board here.
If you are on Pinterest, let me know as I would love to follow you, so send me the link to your boards and I will pop on by.
Until next time...keep on creating.
What brings all of this to mind? I attended the bridal shower for my son's sister-in-law. YES that poor mom has planned two weddings within a year. Better her than me. :o) So instead of my daughter-in-law having to be the center of attention, she gladly played back up by planning a beautiful shower. This is a very DIY family and there were some amazing decorations following the theme of burlap and lace with a color scheme of aqua and peach.
There were simple burlap table runners and burlap wreaths with burlap flowers. There were doilies of all shapes and sizes. Beautiful simple vases made from aqua colored canning jars will filled with babies breath and adorned with a simple lace ribbon tied around it. A LOVE banner handmade with Burlap was the back drop for the bride while opening gifts. She sat on a vintage side chair painted aqua with a burlap seat. ALL of this DIY ideas that came from Pinterest.
Do you PIN? If not, it is a great way to dream away time looking for party ideas, fashion ideas, decorating ideas, inspirational sayings etc. You can share ideas with friends and maybe even meet a few new friends along the way.
Why do I pin? I started pinning just to stock up creative party ideas I find while surfing the web. But it has become much more. I plan to use Pinterest for Inspiration Boards for Creative Concept Events as an easy way for party hostesses to see ideas for events all in one spot. You can see the beginnings of my very first inspiration board here.
If you are on Pinterest, let me know as I would love to follow you, so send me the link to your boards and I will pop on by.
Until next time...keep on creating.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Sunday Morning
Not long after I started A Creative Spirit I did Sunday morning posts.
Why did I ever stop? I can't answer that but thought it was a good time to resurrect them.
I am off to church with a friend this morning. I have not actually been IN church since November I think. It started very innocently but then turned into a major anxiety about going back. I am sure it is the devil at work on me in my depression and anxiety. I am blessed that my church has online services on Sunday mornings so I have still been 'getting a little Jesus' as a good friend always says.
But today I am working through the anxiety (with much effort) as another friend is going through major issues in her own life and asked if she could go to church with me. I am not even sure she knows that I haven't crossed the church threshold in over 4 months.
Is this God's way of edging me back into a habit that was such a big part of my life? Does He know this is what I need? Just a gentle nudge to push through the chest crushing anxiety I feel when I think about going to church, or to any other type of gathering for that matter? Is this just a baby step toward getting past this and OVER it once and for all?
I am not sure what it is that is causing the anxiety or why today's commitment to go back happened, but I am going to church where I will see friends and acquaintances I haven't seen in months and hopefully get through this one small nudge at at time.
Until next time.....
Be Blessed.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Photography 101
Weird title for a post huh?
Not really!
This past week I took an online photography class called Photograhy 101. I heard about this new class over on The Lettered Cottage. You may have heard of it as it is one of the most fun, informative and appealing blogs in the home design, build, DIY area of blogland. If not you REALLY need to go check it out.
ANYHOO. One half of the Kevin and Layla Palmer duo behind The Lettered Cottage teamed up with a friend to create shootFLYshoot.
I can't say enough about the beginners DSLR class I took from shootFLYshoot. It was 11 WONDERFUL videos on how to get the most out of my camera. Not just the Auto mode either. The MANUAL mode..... ooooo scary I know.
Kevin and Josh, the dynamic duo of shootFLYshoot, have created an easy to follow, conversational type class to teach you everything you need to know to start taking great shots.
I took the class over a period of 4 days without camera in hand as I wanted to listen and watch and not fiddle with MY camera and miss anything. THIS week I plan to go out and get the camera I have been drooling over for months now - a Canon Rebel. The cool thing is that Kevin and Josh use the Rebel in all of their demos so it is definitely perfect for what I am looking for. BUT they also tell you how to find the features they discuss on ANY DSLR. SOOOOOO cool.
Why am I telling you all this? Because it was about the best $69 bucks I have ever spent on a class. AND because I plan to buy my new camera, watch the shootFLYshoot videos again and again until I get it right and THEN I will be ready to take pics for my blog here at A Creative Spirit and over on my other blog (still under construction) Creative Concept Events.
So stayed tuned for a look into my progress.
Until next time....
Keep on Creating
Monday, March 12, 2012
Update
This was probably NOT the year to make New Year's resolutions BUT I bit the bullet and did it anyways. Up until 3 weeks ago, I was failing miserably. But even tho I predicted my resolutions would be a distant memory by March, here I am starting to get in the groove and am rocking those bad boys.
A resolution by resolution update:
I would love to hear your progress, or lack there of.
Until next time...
Keep on Creating!!!
A resolution by resolution update:
- Slow Down!!! Eat slower, walk slower (except when exercising), talk slower and write slower. UMMMMM WELL UH!!! I don't think slowing down is in my nature but I will focus on this a little more.
- Move More!!! Add exercise of some sort back into my life. OK, so this is another fail darn it, but that is the next step in my 'back to healthy lifestyle' war with myself.
- Eat Healthy and Lose Weight!!! (I can't even count the number of times I have made that one). Now this one? I am definitely rockin it. 3 weeks back on Weight Watchers and I have lost almost 5 lbs. I have another 10 to go to reach my comfort zone AND to comfortably fit back in my clothes but the 15-18 lbs I gained in 8 weeks after mom's death will soon be a distant (tho not so fond) memory.
- LOSE my lack of confidence and spend time getting my business off the ground. Check and check. I have added a new App (TREED) to my IPad. You may have heard of Treed and maybe not, but it is a goal mapping app. SOOOOO much easier than the Gaant Charts and Info Mapping applications we use at work. What I did was start mapping my business launch as my first map. As I think of things I WANT to do and NEED to do, I will add them to Treed. AND I took a wonderful photography class on ShootFlyShoot. Soon I will be ready to take pics of the events I style and maybe even some product shots.
- Buy fresh flowers once in a while. :o) Something colorful and with a little life. (OK, technically they are no longer living if they are cut, but I am not sure I have enough light or space for permanent plants. I have done this a couple of times so far this year. I would like to do it a little more often and I think I will do just that the next time I pass the floral department at my local grocery store.
I would love to hear your progress, or lack there of.
Until next time...
Keep on Creating!!!
Thursday, March 8, 2012
I have a confession to make....
I am addicted to TV. You heard me...ADDICTED.
I can have the TV on for no reason. Just as background noise, except I watch whatever is on even if I have seen it a million times. A couple of years ago, I made a deal with myself to not watch any NEW TV shows when they premiere. I can watch all the old ones... you know the important ones like Desperate Housewives, The Real Housewives of Wherever, NCIS, Grey's Anatomy and various fun HGTV or Food Network Shows. OK, I watch more than the ones I listed but it would get embarrassing to list them all. PLUS, you all would tune out WAY before the end of the list.
Now, I have not really broken that deal except for recently. I just couldn't resist SMASH! I love it and enjoy all the song and dance numbers. Guess I am a performer at heart and live vicariously through those kids on there. BUT that is all. NO MORE (for now at least).
So why am I telling you all this. UMMMM WELL UHHHH I am making a NEW deal with myself.
I have gotten so mesmerized by that black box with the pretty moving colors on it that I have pretty much quit reading for fun. I have a stack of magazines, my Nook is bursting at the seams, my stack of unread books is outta control ( you know the ones made of paper like the old days?), and well you get the picture.
So here is the new deal: I can only watch 2 hours of television on any week night. I can DVR til my DVR explodes but only 2 hours of actually watching shows. Now I will make a concession if there is a major news story that I want to follow along on every news or entertainment news show there is. But that will have to be a rare exception. So what will I do with all the DVR shows?
GLAD YOU ASKED!!! The weekends will be free days. I can watch TVon the weekends till I turn into a big ole tater on the couch if I feel like it. I doubt that will happen as I do like to do other fun stuff on the weekends. :o) But starting here, starting NOW, this TV addiction has to take a back seat to some good old fashioned reading.
I don't think I will crumble or wilt or fall apart. I may have some withdrawal symptoms and CRAVE me some good TV vegging time, but 2 hours a day. 2 hours and that is it.
I would love to hear if you all are as big of TV freaks as I am (was hehe) or if I am out here on my own. I would love to hear about your favorite shows, or your favorite TV indulgences even if you are not addicted. Hey maybe I will discover something new to do with my newly found free time. HMMMM ever heard of exercise? Maybe I could try that and see what all the fuss is about.
I will keep you posted on how this new deal goes but PLEASE wish me luck.
Until next time....
Keep on Creating!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
4 things I need to say!
I mentioned on Sunday that I went to the Lenten Mission at a local church at the urging of my friend. I only spent 3 hours over 3 days in the seminars that were a part of the mission, but what a great way to spend those 3 hours.
Father Mark Wagner led the series on "The Four Phrases" we need to say to everyone that we are in a relationship with. That includes family, friends, coworkers, God and even ourselves. Especially ourselves.
I say 'I'm sorry' if I hurt someone. But what about telling myself I am sorry?
I say 'I forgive you' tho maybe not enough. What about forgiving myself?
I say 'Thank you' many times everyday. But I can't say I have ever thanked myself.
I know I say 'I love you' to my kids before I hang up the phone, or when I see them. But what about saying this to myself?
As part of my grief recovery, I am going to take Father Wagner's advice on how to remember to say these 4 phrases. Not only am I going to say these phrases to myself, I am going to take a washable marker and write the 4 phrases on my bathroom mirror. That way, those phrases will be there while I am looking at my own reflection each and every day. What a great daily reminder to say these things to myself. And then maybe, just maybe, I will realize that I mean each and and word.
If you want to check out the Lenten series, you can download it yourself here.
Until next time...
Father Mark Wagner led the series on "The Four Phrases" we need to say to everyone that we are in a relationship with. That includes family, friends, coworkers, God and even ourselves. Especially ourselves.
- I'm sorry.
- I forgive you.
- I thank you.
- I love you.
I say 'I'm sorry' if I hurt someone. But what about telling myself I am sorry?
I say 'I forgive you' tho maybe not enough. What about forgiving myself?
I say 'Thank you' many times everyday. But I can't say I have ever thanked myself.
I know I say 'I love you' to my kids before I hang up the phone, or when I see them. But what about saying this to myself?
As part of my grief recovery, I am going to take Father Wagner's advice on how to remember to say these 4 phrases. Not only am I going to say these phrases to myself, I am going to take a washable marker and write the 4 phrases on my bathroom mirror. That way, those phrases will be there while I am looking at my own reflection each and every day. What a great daily reminder to say these things to myself. And then maybe, just maybe, I will realize that I mean each and and word.
If you want to check out the Lenten series, you can download it yourself here.
Until next time...
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Hello????? Are you out there????
Has anyone noticed I have been a little MIA here in Blogger land?
It has been a rough few months here at A Creative Spirit.
My creativitiy, my gumption, my motivation have all taken a back seat to my pity party. Yes, you heard me right... my pity party. I am so NOT a pity party kinda gal. I have said for years that if I am feeling sorry for myself for a day or a week, then that is ok. Much longer, and that is a PROBLEM. MY problem.
So what is my problem you ask? OK, so you didn't ask but humor me please.
I have done much thinking, soul searching and you name it. All I can come up with is that I have never really grieved for my parents. I was so busy taking care of dad for the short time he was here and then mom for the next 8 months. Those months were not my own. They were someone else's months. My mom's, my kids, my grandkids, but I never really stopped to make any time to nurture ME. So here I am now, 9 months after mom's death, still throwing myself an all out, down and dirty, poor me pity party.
So why can't I grieve? Just totally fall apart? Curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry until the hurt goes away? I don't know really, but I do know that after 9 months, it is time to take ME back. To do the things that make me happy again. To get crafty. To finish (or at least start) the mountain of projects I bought all the supplies for but are sitting in a pile in my utility closet.
Oh and the retail therapy that has plagued me for the last two years since dad's cancer diagnosis? DONE! KAPUT! OVER! I think it has been about 3 weeks since I put the new austerity, no frivolous spending policy in place and I haven't keeled over from the shock yet. Oh how I really wish I had the money back that I have spent in the last couple years. I could take one VERY nice and VERY long vacation. But no looking back. Only forward.
A dear friend talked me into going to the Lenten mission at her church and even tho I really, really, REALLY did not want to go (more later on my new-found acrowd anxiety), I sucked it up, put on my big girl panties and went. It was just what I needed to start me on this journey to recovering from this low that I have been in for far too long.
I still haven't grieved, but that will come. First things first. I think I have to make room for the grief. Move all the other stuff outta the way first and then allow myself the sadness and grief instead of pushing it so far down inside that it hurts.
I hope you will all join me in my recovery. I promise that it won't be a journey filled with sad posts as remember the pity party is officially OVER. So come along on this trip back to the OLD me. I am sure it will be an interesting one.
Until next time...
It has been a rough few months here at A Creative Spirit.
My creativitiy, my gumption, my motivation have all taken a back seat to my pity party. Yes, you heard me right... my pity party. I am so NOT a pity party kinda gal. I have said for years that if I am feeling sorry for myself for a day or a week, then that is ok. Much longer, and that is a PROBLEM. MY problem.
So what is my problem you ask? OK, so you didn't ask but humor me please.
I have done much thinking, soul searching and you name it. All I can come up with is that I have never really grieved for my parents. I was so busy taking care of dad for the short time he was here and then mom for the next 8 months. Those months were not my own. They were someone else's months. My mom's, my kids, my grandkids, but I never really stopped to make any time to nurture ME. So here I am now, 9 months after mom's death, still throwing myself an all out, down and dirty, poor me pity party.
So why can't I grieve? Just totally fall apart? Curl up in a ball and cry and cry and cry until the hurt goes away? I don't know really, but I do know that after 9 months, it is time to take ME back. To do the things that make me happy again. To get crafty. To finish (or at least start) the mountain of projects I bought all the supplies for but are sitting in a pile in my utility closet.
Oh and the retail therapy that has plagued me for the last two years since dad's cancer diagnosis? DONE! KAPUT! OVER! I think it has been about 3 weeks since I put the new austerity, no frivolous spending policy in place and I haven't keeled over from the shock yet. Oh how I really wish I had the money back that I have spent in the last couple years. I could take one VERY nice and VERY long vacation. But no looking back. Only forward.
A dear friend talked me into going to the Lenten mission at her church and even tho I really, really, REALLY did not want to go (more later on my new-found acrowd anxiety), I sucked it up, put on my big girl panties and went. It was just what I needed to start me on this journey to recovering from this low that I have been in for far too long.
I still haven't grieved, but that will come. First things first. I think I have to make room for the grief. Move all the other stuff outta the way first and then allow myself the sadness and grief instead of pushing it so far down inside that it hurts.
I hope you will all join me in my recovery. I promise that it won't be a journey filled with sad posts as remember the pity party is officially OVER. So come along on this trip back to the OLD me. I am sure it will be an interesting one.
Until next time...
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